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17-Feb-2018 09:32

And, really, it roots deeper than my parents, my grandparents, and their parents before them.Racial tension between Mexicans and blacks, especially on the west coast and in some parts of the south, is tied to an ugly history.Thirteen years of dating boys outside my race and it took sitting down to write this essay to have the first, real conversation with my parents about interracial dating.

Christine: We'd talked about the fact that Juan is 100 percent Dominican, born there, and then came here when he was little. There's that difference between [Latin] cultures in the islands and those on the [U. This is an ongoing conversation within the Latin community. But I've come to realize I'm probably more American than she is! Even as a little girl, I had a crush on Joey Mc Intyre from New Kids on the Block.I've dated other races aside from black men—my first and only boyfriend of two years was Korean. "My parents, I should say, have never forbidden me from dating black men, or a man of any race, but their silence, more so my mother's, has been felt—it rendered each guy invisible.But I've never dated someone of my own ethnicity: Mexican. And I would say Colombian, but that courtship never blossomed into much after he came over my house and serenaded me with his acoustic guitar. Time and again, after being introduced to a black guy I was dating, my mother either let out heavy sighs or foretold my future under her breath. My dad used his seasonal, strictly temporary passport for work and came to Arizona to pick fruit.Stories, which laced with racial stereotypes, were told continuously that they became truth.Those "stories" tell of black men leaving their women, and of black men being promiscuous and violent. While problematic, my parents' thinking was the thinking of their time.

Christine: We'd talked about the fact that Juan is 100 percent Dominican, born there, and then came here when he was little. There's that difference between [Latin] cultures in the islands and those on the [U. This is an ongoing conversation within the Latin community. But I've come to realize I'm probably more American than she is! Even as a little girl, I had a crush on Joey Mc Intyre from New Kids on the Block.

I've dated other races aside from black men—my first and only boyfriend of two years was Korean. "My parents, I should say, have never forbidden me from dating black men, or a man of any race, but their silence, more so my mother's, has been felt—it rendered each guy invisible.

But I've never dated someone of my own ethnicity: Mexican. And I would say Colombian, but that courtship never blossomed into much after he came over my house and serenaded me with his acoustic guitar. Time and again, after being introduced to a black guy I was dating, my mother either let out heavy sighs or foretold my future under her breath. My dad used his seasonal, strictly temporary passport for work and came to Arizona to pick fruit.

Stories, which laced with racial stereotypes, were told continuously that they became truth.

Those "stories" tell of black men leaving their women, and of black men being promiscuous and violent. While problematic, my parents' thinking was the thinking of their time.

"You're going to end up pregnant before you're married," she once said. But my grandfather—my mother's father—wasn't too fond of my dad.