Inmates prison dating us female eveningtimes co uk dating

11-Feb-2018 20:50

Are they lonely creatures in search of emotional dependence from a captive audience?Or manipulative sociopaths living vicariously through ‘celebrity’ prisoners?Many women (and men) choose to reach out simply to provide friendship and compassion to those behind bars.Their actions provide a much welcome lifeline, a window to the outside world.Most of us struggle to identify with the type of woman who would actively search for a partner in prison.We read the sensational stories in the Press which tend to veer between pity and disdain.

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Cavendish believes it to be a highly complex issue and agrees that major factors to consider are dependency and control; “Dependence works both ways - financial for many prisoners, particularly those who don't have family ties, as well as emotional.”With regards to the type of women who write to prisoners; “I'll be honest and say that a fair few of the female correspondents are lonely women who often have body-image concerns (many of those whose photos I've seen tend to be overweight.) They feel perhaps that a prisoner is likely to be less judgmental and more appreciative of any support - emotional and/or financial.”For these women, connecting with a man who is locked up for the majority of the day with little else to occupy his time, you’d be forgiven for assuming that the inmate has no choice but to remain faithful.Alex Cavendish, Social Anthropologist and former prison inmate, says; “In theory, a percentage of all outgoing letters are randomly checked by the censor's department in each prison (usually 10%).However, if the inmate has been convicted of domestic violence, a sexual offence or stalking/harassment, then all letters are supposed to be read.”Although there are no official figures recorded on the number of letters sent, according to The Office for National Statistics, a report released only this year on population in UK prisons compares 81,881 men compared to 3,882 women currently residing in jail.However as Cavendish observes, prisoners can benefit fiscally from these courtships; “I’ve known male inmates who have several pen pals, and they live a very comfortable life inside on the regular postal orders or cheques that get sent in.I’ve met straight young prisoners who are keen to find male ‘sugar daddies’ willing to fund their tobacco or drug habits whilst inside.”Yet it would be wrong to claim that all inmates exploit the situation and all pen pals on the outside are lonely and looking for love.

Cavendish believes it to be a highly complex issue and agrees that major factors to consider are dependency and control; “Dependence works both ways - financial for many prisoners, particularly those who don't have family ties, as well as emotional.”With regards to the type of women who write to prisoners; “I'll be honest and say that a fair few of the female correspondents are lonely women who often have body-image concerns (many of those whose photos I've seen tend to be overweight.) They feel perhaps that a prisoner is likely to be less judgmental and more appreciative of any support - emotional and/or financial.”For these women, connecting with a man who is locked up for the majority of the day with little else to occupy his time, you’d be forgiven for assuming that the inmate has no choice but to remain faithful.

Alex Cavendish, Social Anthropologist and former prison inmate, says; “In theory, a percentage of all outgoing letters are randomly checked by the censor's department in each prison (usually 10%).

However, if the inmate has been convicted of domestic violence, a sexual offence or stalking/harassment, then all letters are supposed to be read.”Although there are no official figures recorded on the number of letters sent, according to The Office for National Statistics, a report released only this year on population in UK prisons compares 81,881 men compared to 3,882 women currently residing in jail.

However as Cavendish observes, prisoners can benefit fiscally from these courtships; “I’ve known male inmates who have several pen pals, and they live a very comfortable life inside on the regular postal orders or cheques that get sent in.

I’ve met straight young prisoners who are keen to find male ‘sugar daddies’ willing to fund their tobacco or drug habits whilst inside.”Yet it would be wrong to claim that all inmates exploit the situation and all pen pals on the outside are lonely and looking for love.

I could tell that having a sympathetic woman to write to made him feel good, and no doubt gave him some fantasy material. "Thinking about it now, several years later, the letters allowed me to be intimate at a distance.